Oracle

On this / The last morning I’d wake up / With my original body / I put on all my plastic jewelry / I stood by the window / I ate a banana covered in peanut butter / I bled through two pairs of underwear and into my jeans / I texted six people / Begging each of them to fuck me / While I still had / This body / When I started to move / I passed many filthy / Children alone / I received no texts back / I was racing though the Town / I was trying to incite / I was trying to provoke / The same way I repeat / Over and over / The actions that make me sick / I have dug down into myself and found / Nothing / I have lurched my way across this Town to the water and found / Nothing / I stopped eating / I stopped drinking / I wore a steel breastplate / How quickly I became intolerable / Even to myself / I was not permitted to have / The remains of the fetus / Scraped out of me / I was told to pass it / Naturally  / I will leave this old body behind / I will reach the Oracle / I will not ask for a prediction / I will ask to perform an exchange / My old body for a new body / A new body poreless / Impermeable / Unetched / By even / The mark of its maker / I have behaved grossly  / I cannot wait to die / Yes I know this will be  / No real death / From miles away still / The Oracle says / Keep moving / You have seen my face / Before / It has made as little impression on you / As the face of the woman you pay for stamps / The face of the woman you pay for magazines / The face of the woman / To whom you hand a parking receipt / The face of the deaf woman / Who roams the library / Asking you to buy / Her homemade greeting cards / I am panting / I am climbing / The mountain at the center of the Town / The Oracle will be found at its summit / My mouth is full of my own dust / Lines from my own poems / Rise unbidden in my mind / Humiliating me / Making me laugh too / Neon roadside flowers / Tiny stars of chamomile / Moving faster now / Rocks in my sandals / Dust on my contact lenses / Circled by deerflies / Thus far unbitten / The hate I harbor /  In my limbs / My organs / The hate I harbor /  In my eyes / My mouth / The hope of women / Is murder / One man is following me / Could be coincidence / Two men are following me / Oink oink / They say  /  I move through the fair / Wind coming over / Rain coming down / Day of radiance / Beep beep! / Says a tourist in a white duck hat / Moving past me / I recall / The food processor at my restaurant job / Feeding peeled carrots into it / Whole / And finally / When I pass a woman vomiting on the trail / I do not wait for the other pilgrims / To recognize her as the Oracle / And plant a thicket of crutches around her / I pause and cup her tattooed skull / I brush the pollen from her shoulders / I pick a caterpillar off her neck / I scatter the coins of my eyes at her feet

Sara Peters